Have Courage and Be Kind

On this day five years ago I was working instead of going to prom as a high school senior. I know this might seem lame and like it wouldn't matter in the long run but thinking back, it did matter and it hurt. 

I am the embodiment of the phrase "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride," except I'm usually just sent a wedding announcement and that's it. I don't think I'm a particularly great person but I also don't think I ever deserved the bullying that used to happen to me. This wasn't you average "bullied by people who don't know you" know you kind of bullying, these were all the actions of my friends. People who I trusted with everything I had. People who said they were there for me and then left me out to dry when it was important. I wouldn't dare say this is worse than being tormented by someone you don't know, but it really didn't feel good. To this day I am still trying to cover up those scars. 

Maybe this is why I'm so guarded, maybe I'm just naturally this way, but I know that the bullying that happened when I was younger was unacceptable. I feel things and keep them locked up because I've learned that most people don't want to listen to you because they want you to listen to them. I can count on one hand the number of people I have in my life who really listen to me. That's a problem. If we are going to be successful and giving actors, we need to listen to each other even though we've memorized our lines. It can be uncomfortable to be in the moment, but doing the work will allow for genuine moments of discovery and connection that cannot be fabricated when simply waiting for the next line.